Knit 1, Crochet 2

Sharing my stupidity

I am so glad that everyone has enjoyed the Flying Sweet Potato incident. It still makes me laugh and that damn mixer plug still falls out of the wall when I use it (I refuse to cave and get a new one). Brian will tell you that I am the klutziest person, ever. Shit happens to me that happens to no one. I can trip over my own feet, walk into things and have unknown bruises all the time. Long ago, when I was married to the Snuffalupogus - Snuffy for short - (long story, I'll have to tell that one day), my boss called me into his office. Seems as though managment was a tad worried that Snuffy was knocking me around a bit (ok, that happened later, but not at this point). I was very adamant in telling them that he had never laid a hand on me, why were they asking? Seems as though I was a walking bruise on any given day and they were worried he was beating me. How embarrasing.

One of my finer moments came just a few short years ago. I was nice and thin back then and long, ankle-length skirts were SO in (I bet you know where this is going, don't 'cha?). I was the Executive Assistant to the Sales Director of our office with a holding pen cubicle right outside his glass-walled office. He was in there, working away and I was sitting at my desk typing one of his stupid reports. Little did I know that when I sat down, I had rolled over the long skirt and my chair was holding it down. If you are drinking coffee right know, I suggest you swallow - unlike my boss. He turned to the glass window, called me into his office and took a gulp of said coffee. Since my elastic waisted skirt was under the chair, when I got up and started to walk, half the skirt came down around my knees(thank GOD I had a slip on) and tripped me, tossing me onto the floor in front of my chair with the skirt now around my calves. I thought my boss was going to die laughing. Coffee spewed out of his mouth, all over the glass and he was in hysterics. While I lay on the floor wanting to be sucked into a freaking sink hole.

I got a special award that year at the Christmas Party for being Santa's Favorite Elf and voted most likely to be naked at the office. I worked there 3 years longer and they never let me forget it.

Posted by Heather at 10:05 AM