You know life is driving you crazy when you would think of prison as a vacation. Really! Think about it. If you overlook the possibility of getting raped or the bugs or rats, it looks pretty good, huh? No phone, no TV, no email, no screaming PMS crazed teenagers, your meals are cooked for you and if you behave badly enough you get solitary confinement! Solitary! Know what that means? You are allll alone. No one talks to you, no one is fighting over who is supposed to clean which pot because it was your turn yesterday and I did your laundry and Moooommmm...sorry, got carried away there for a minute. Think they would let me bring the book I've been trying to read for a month and my knitting? Parents of teenagers, you know you are nodding your head in agreement. Prison is looking really good right now. I'm just saying.
Work is usually my solace. It is quiet here (most of the time, huge fundraiser not withstanding), I can get my work done in relative peace and my boss only is in once a month at the most. Not today. Today he is pissed. Why? Because I forwarded him email on a project that he doesn't want me involved in. Apparently, being polite and forwarding the email constitutes me working on said project. I should have trashed it and been a bitch. Pardon moi.
Let's review. PMSing Princess who recently dumped The Boyfriend, bored Baseball Star who is grounded until Progress Reports and now is going to drive us all crazy with his never-ending chatter and sucking up, cats who are possessed and feel this overwhelming need to shred toilet paper and chew holes in my robe and now toss in a job where I'm in trouble for being polite. Told you prison wasn't such a bad place. Wonder what I can do that won't hurt anyone, will only give me a week in solitary with my knitting and won't go on my permanent record.
Oh, and just in case that wasn't enough. Do you remember the picture of the screwed up sweater front? Remind me to never frog at night. Why? Because the front was fine. Yep, I had done it right the first time.
They're coming to take me away, ha ha. They're coming to take me away, ho ho, he he, ha ha. To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time....
Posted by Heather at 9:52 AM